By The Secret Submissive in association with Tickle Life
Busting those masturbation myths wide open so you can enjoy your body in any way you please!
I have used self-pleasure as a way of exploring my body and mind since I was a teenager. Although I have always been at one with the practice of masturbation, I haven’t always been so willing to talk about it. There is still a huge stigma attached to masturbation and in particular female masturbation, so we need to ask ourselves why? More than ever before, we are living in an age of increased freedom, tolerance and acceptance so isn’t it time we blew these outdated ideas out of the water? Let’s bust those masturbation myths wide open and enjoy our bodies in any way we please!
Myth 1: Touching yourself is dirty
So many societies, cultures, and religions perpetuate the idea of masturbation and self-exploration being shameful, taboo and impure when in reality, knowing your body, wholly and intimately, is not only natural and normal but also absolutely vital. As well as feeling great, when you masturbate, you become more comfortable with your body and you know what feels right and wrong. It’s much easier to detect changes and to have the confidence to seek help when you have reached that stage of confidence and comfortability. So many women avoid life-saving smear tests and mammograms because of the discomfort or anxiety surrounding the procedures. However, masturbation is a great way of getting used to intimate sensations, such as insertion, which can therefore help to alleviate many concerns. In addition, it is important to remember that we own our bodies and there is no shame in allowing ourselves to feel and enjoy pleasure for no other reason than because we want to. Pleasure can be derived from so many different sources so why shouldn’t sexual pleasure receive equal validity?
Myth 2: Masturbation is for singletons and the unsatisfied
However closely sex and masturbation may be connected, they also serve different purposes and masturbation certainly has a rightful place in a relationship too, including marriages. Giving and receiving pleasure are both wonderful things but wanting to masturbate is not an admission of an unsatisfactory sexual relationship. Masturbation is an excellent form of self-care, helping to relieve stress or unwind, and it’s okay to want some alone time to indulge in making yourself feel great! Exploring your body can also help you to learn exactly what turns you on, which can often enhance your relationship with your partner. Finally, watching your partner pleasure themselves can also be incredibly arousing and can make excellent foreplay. Mutual masturbation - whether in person or virtually - can add a spicy new dynamic to a relationship whilst increasing emotional intimacy. Try sitting opposite each other whilst slowly and sensually caressing your own body… it won’t be long before you’re aching to touch each other!
Myth 3: Sex toys will give you a water infection
Masturbation with sex toys can be intimidating to some and let’s face it; there are some weird and wonderful gadgets out there, some of which definitely look daunting at first glance! However, let me alleviate your nerves as I can confirm that sex toys will not give you water infections but you do need to use them cleanly and safely. Masturbating will not cause infections but your intimate areas are delicate and sensitive so it’s important to maintain your PH balance and avoid nasty bacterial infections by following these basic rules:
Always use a quality sex toy cleaner or some mild antibacterial soap and water (where possible) and clean your toys before and after use to keep them hygienic. Let them air dry or use a lint-free towel and then store them in a clean, dry place.
Use a water-based lubricant with any silicone-based sex toys because the silicone will degrade the rubber over time and you don’t want to leave bits of the toy inside your body!
You can use condoms on dildos and vibrators! They’re a great way to keep things clean and to help protect against bacterial infections or STIs if you’re sharing toys.
Never switch from your anus to your vagina. Despite the number of porn videos that depict it is okay to poke from one hole to the other and back again, this is a huge no! Even if you douche or use an enema before playing, your anus has bacteria that will upset your vagina and potentially enter your urinary tract which will lead to infections, so keep your toys and fingers separate!
Myth 4: Vibrators will desensitize you
This is an incredibly frustrating masturbation myth! Using sex toys - in moderation - will not cause nerve damage; decrease sensitivity, or deplete your ability to enjoy sex. Many women find it easier to reach orgasm with the help of a vibrating toy as a clitoral orgasm is often easier to achieve than vaginal, anal, or other erogenous orgasms. Just like anything else in life, too much of a good thing is never recommended and if you feel numbness, pain, or discomfort from a sex toy, that’s often a good indication to stop and have a break! Some vibrators are very powerful or difficult to hold so yes, theoretically, using them in excess could cause tingling, numbness, or a repetitive strain injury in your hand or wrist. In terms of your vulva and clitoris, intense sensations might cause some temporary numbness or tingling but your body will recover and reset in no time. It’s just the same as getting a numb bum after sitting on a hard surface for too long!
It’s your body and your choice! Whether you’re new to sex or masturbation or more experienced, what you chose to do with your body is your decision and yours alone. There are numerous mental and physical health benefits to masturbation, and it is perfectly natural and normal to explore your body, both with your fingers and sex toys. Whatever decision you make, don’t let outdated masturbation myths cloud your judgment. Now you’re armed with the facts, enjoy exploring!